A Deadly Secret
by LadyYukamora
Summary: Oneshot songfic. A little story about Shuichi and Yuki and a terrible thing that comes between them. Shows why it isn't right to hide your love from the one you love. Has a good moral so pay attention! R


Well I am giving you all a fair wraning. This story is not exactly very happy. Also, this is a songfic so you won't get the plot if you don't read the lyrics to the song as well. The song is by Three Days Grace and is called

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation or this song. So please...nobody sue me okay?

Alrighty then here it goes.

_

* * *

I'm not sober all the time _

_You bring me down at least you try _

_Until we see this eye to eye _

_I don't want you _

Shuichi swallowed the last few drops of sake and put his arm across his eyes. The pain was intense and he tried not to cry as Yuki's hurtful words ran through his head again. He was so tired of being taunted and made a fool of by that damn blonde. Yet, he couldn't forget him, couldn't allow himself to let go of his love for the writer. Groaning he slammed his head agianst the floor and thought, _"Forget him...I don't need that bastard. Besides, he never loved me, how could he when he hurts me like this?" _

_I must be running out of luck _

_Cause you're just not drunk enough to fuck _

_And now I've had it up to here _

_I don't, I don't want you_

Yuki sat in his study, typing away at his keyboard madly. He was furiuos, for more than one reason as well. Shuichi was doing as was his custom, being an annoying brat. What was worse was that the brat's need to drink whenever they got in a fight had drove Shuichi even farther from him. The moment that the pink haired boy went for that bottle, Yuki knew that he was out of luck if he wanted to do anything with him. With all his annoying laughs and squeals, his constant need to interupt the author when he was writing, and now this new problem with his problems, Yuki had had it up to here. _"I can't take this anymore. Fuck it. He's not worth it!" _

_It took so long to see _

Shuichi lifted himself from the hard, unfogiving floor and staggered to the kitchen. He put the bottle on the counter and walked unsteadily to the bathroom. Seeing his bloodshot and dulled eyes filled him with rage and he punched the glass of the mirror, causing it to shatter and cut up his hand terribly. Bitter tears ran down his cheeks and he collapsed into a sobbing wreck taht was proped up against the sink.

_You walked away from me _

Yuki didn't notice that his lover had even gone anywhere until he had heard the glass break. He wanted to get up, to find out what had happened, but most of all he wanted to make sure that Shuichi was okay. His pride became his downfall. Why should he get up when the brat obviously had broken a glass. _"He'll clean it up himself." _He thought bitterly.

_When I need you _

_Wake up_

As tears fell freely from his violet eyes, terrible thoughts ran through the pink haired boys head. Yuki didn't care about him, no one cared. Why would they? Everyone said that he was annoying and just a pest. How could anyone love him? Another tear ran down his cheek as he looked at his bloody hand. If he didn't stop the bloodflow he would be in trouble. _"But why should I stop it?" _He thought. Plans quickly formed in his head as he looked at the blood flowing from his hand. Seeing a sliver of the mirror he picked it up. The razor sharp edge glinted and with a cry of pain and defeat, Shuichi plunged it into the vein of his uningured arm. The blood imediately began to flow from the new wound and with the wounds combined, the white bathroom tile slowly turned red.

_I'm pounding on the door _

When the scream was heard, Yuki jumped up from his chair and as he tried to find the screams origins his heart pounded. Where was Shuichi? Did he make that scream. He yelled out his lovers name, his fears rising as each moment passed without the return call from the pink haired brat.

_I'm not the man I was before _

Shuichi heard nothing as his blood began to pool around him. His thoughts were centered on the blonde novelist that had captured his heart and driven him to commit this act. His eyes remained dry from pure emptiness as he recalled the multiple times that the man had insulted him, treated him badly, broken his heart, and left him out alone to fend for himself. He couldn't help but wonder if the blonde would even care that he was gone. Would he even notice? So much had changed within him and yet he had hidden it for so long. Behind his custamary smile was intense pain. Behind his laugh was longing. He drank to escape it. To escape that reality. But soon, soon it would be over.

_Where the hell are you _

Yuki cried out again with growing fear. Where is he? Something must have happened, something bad, he must need help, but where is he?

_When I need you_

Shuichi grimaced as pain shot up his soon to be numb arm. The stupid glass was still imbedded in both arms. Soon, scorn replaced his pain as he thought of Yuki. The bastard was never there...especially when he needed him. Even now, he would die alone because Eiri Yuki was never there when he needed him.

_Wake up _

_I'm pounding on the door _

Looking down another hall, his blood stopped cold. He ran to a single door and saw the small pool of a red substance that was coming from his bathroom. He bent down and wiped a bit onto his finger. At that moment, the realization that thsi substance was blood. Eiri Yuki's heart stopped dead. With fear ridden eyes he looked at the bathroom door and began to pound. "Shuichi! Are you in there!" He yelled in pure, agonizing fear.

_I won't hurt you anymore _

The pounding of the door and yelling slightly registered in the boy's mind. He tried to stay awake, he wanted to know what that sound was. He wanted to know who was there...Yet, he didn't care. Why would he? He was escaping to a place where he would no longer annoy or frustrate anyone ever again.

_Where the hell are you _

"Shuichi!" Yuki screamed. He pounded harder, his heart rising up to into his chest.

_When I need you_

As his conciousness slipped again, Shuichi completly fell to the floor. This time he heard the scream. He had heard it loud and clear. "Yuki..." he whispered.

_I'm not angry all the time _

With that one word, coming from his own lover's lips, Yuki wrenched the door open; breaking it completly off its doorframe. Looking around the bathroom and seeing what had occured in that room, an intense sadness erupted within him. "_Why?"_ he thought bitterly. _"Why..." _

_You push me down at least you try _

As the door broke, conciousness came back more fully to the blood drenched boy. "Why...why are you here? You don't...w-want to be here. I know you don't."

_Until we see this eye to eye _

_I don't want you_

_It took so long to see _

_You walked away from me _

_When I need you _

Rage filled the blonde, and he wanted to throttle the boy. How could he ever say such a thing? How could he think he didn't care? He kneeled down and looked over the boys wounds. He was actually suprised he had lived this long, not that the thought didn't scare the author. Why? Why did Shuichi think he didn't care? "_Then_ _again"_, the thought _"Why should I? Why should I care about this boy that would throw his life away like it was nothing! Yet, I do. He can't leave me. Not now...not when I finally have him by my side!"_

_Wake up _

_I'm pounding on the door _

_I'm not the man I was before _

_Where the hell are you _

_When I need you _

Shuichi felt someone kneel beside him and instinctivly knew that it was his lover. The man he wanted to hate, the one who hated him. Why was he there? To watch him die? Yet, Shuichi didn't want him to just sit there. He wanted to be held, told it was okay. He just wanted to know that he was loved.

_Wake up I'm pounding on the door _

_I won't hurt you anymore _

_Where the hell are you _

_When I need you _

Lifting himself from the floor, Yuki quickly grabbed bandages and tweezers from the medicine cabinent. Sitting back down again, he drew the pink haired boy on to his lap. He tried to get otu teh slivers of glass and to his despair, each peice he removed increased the amount of blood that flowed. Giving up, the man tried to wrap the wounds and realized that he was just hurting him. Bitter tears ran down his cheeks as he realized he could do nothing to save his lover.

_It took so long to see _

_You walked away from me _

_When I need you _

Shuuchi looked up to see tears falling from Yuki's eyes. The pain was gone now, almost all feeling was gone in reality. He was almost completly numb now, the blood loss taking a terrible toll. "W-why are you crying Yuki?"

_Wake up _

_I'm pounding on the door _

_I'm not the man I was before _

_Where the hell are you _

_When I need you _

Yuki looked in suprise at the brat and help back a racking sob. "You baka...your dying."

"Why does that make you sad?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"It's just me...that's nothing to cry over."

"Shuichi..."

_Wake up _

_I'm pounding on the door _

_I won't hurt you anymore _

_Where the hell are you _

_When I need you _

Shuichi watched in mounting amazment as his stoic lover sobbed. He didn't understand why because of how much he truly believed that Yuki didn't love him. As he drifted from in out of conciousness he heard the words...the words he had waned to hear for so long.

"Shuichi...don't die...I need you...I l-love you."

As he drifted away from it all, the pain, the fear, he knew the truth. That he was loved. He had just never known. Had never known the truth. He laid there in his lover's arms, his soul already gone,yet withhis dying thought, he knew without a doubt, that no matter what, he still loved the man who had kept his love a secret. A deadly secret.

* * *

Alright I'm done now. If you havn't noticed this lovely, happy, happy, joy, joy, of a fanfic does have a moral. I hope you all got it in the story but if you didn't I suppose I could tell you. The moral is very simple. Don't hide your love for someone. If you love someone, and they don't know it, I ask you to right now call them up, go see them, or e-mail them, and whichever way you do it, tell them that you love them. Yes there's a risk of rejection but thepossible rewards are too great to ignore. So tell them you love them and make me a happy writer.

By the way. If enough people review this and tell me what they think I just might make this lovely little oneshot a full out story. Which in it, will explain what drove Shuichi to dosuch a desperate act. Yeah I know, why read something like that when I know the ending? Well...if I'm in a charitable mood I just might tweak things around. Maybe. So let me know what you think, and if I should elaborate on this lovely little story. Thank you for reading!


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